Berri and I
by The What-If Writer
Summary: ALTERNATE ENDING: What if Berri's fate had been different? Conker faces Ze Professor in a different battle and finds himself in different circumstances that may just help him save Berri's life. Rated T for mention of blood and refernce to swearing.


_A What-If Scenario: What if Berri's fate was different?_

_Alternate Ending._

_Please review!_

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Alternate Ending

Conker wasn't always a bad guy. Heck, many lamented to him and others that he'd once been a really good kid, with bright optimism and manners that shone around him like tiny little fireflies. He'd always listened to what his parents say- and granted even to this day he still followed at least one of their rules: Never swear.

He did everything else, though. Drinking, fighting, planning ways to get easy cash. Lying. They didn't know what to do with him anymore- but even if they did it would've been futile. They couldn't do anything to change their son's rotten character.

But despite ever bad words people said of him now, Conker's eyes had widened in terror the moment he'd seen the gun point at the one person that deep down, in that little crack that remained of the sweet youth he used to be, he loved. And yeah, Berri had been loyal like the weird king panther guy said. So it was with horror that he saw the weasel gangster point the gun at her, and he bullets go off.

He hadn't even known what happened. It hadn't sunk in, and for a moment he stood stuttering things like 'why' and 'what' before he finally turned to face her.

All he could remember was seeing red and black, colors Berri never mixed because she always knew what was beautiful. And for once in his life, Conker felt something pierce him straight through the chest, to that place in him that still held his happy-go-lucky self.

He knelt beside her, holding the chipmunk in his arms with heavy, wide eyes, a lump in his throat a she placed her hand on his cheek, so gentle, that it made him want to cry even more.

He'd wanted to say something to her; anything. But he couldn't. He was frozen, and all he could do was watch as she slipped away from him. Her shaky breaths left her, and she was gone.

"Berri? Hey...Berri?" He shook her gently, but she didn't respond. His head bent down, his back double over as his whole body shook. "Oh...No..."

This wasn't happening. As cliché a thought, it rang through his head. It wasn't happening.

And yet, it had.

Fury stuck him like it never had before; and like the heartbreak he could hardly describe as the fun-loving fur ball he was, he couldn't comprehend such fury. Fury redder than his fur.

He spun around clenching his fists as sky-blue eyes bore up at the Panther with loathing. He was completely stuck; so angry he couldn't move. Not yet, anyway.

And God help that panther when he could...

Abruptly, the panther groaned and leaned over, clutching a large heavy paw to his chest in pain. The weasel gangster beside him was blinking in confusion, and for a moment Conker's frown slipped in confusion.

"Where's...my...milk?" The rumbling voice echoed through the eerie silence. Conker scowled at the panther silently. What?

"Professor...Professor..."

Who was he- That crazy old coot, Conker was going to-

"Ah, My Liege!"

Conker's blue eyes widened, and though Berri still ran through his mind, he noticed that the voice of this weasel who'd fluttered into view was...happy. Ecstatic, even. The weasel was partly mechanical, with no legs, and mismatched eyes that were narrowed in betrayal to his pleasant grin.

Said weasel clad in a lab coat side-glanced down at him, and Conker met the gaze of the one green eye that held both disdain and interest.

"How do you feel?" A spark emitted from the chair he sat on, a sly note to his enthusiastic voice. Conker felt his fur stand on end. He moved back a little beside Berri as if to protect her, even though she was...

He looked down at her again, and all other conversation between the panther and weasel was blocked out. It made him shudder to see her like this, but he couldn't bring himself to get any closer. He just wanted her to open her eyes, and everything would be alright. They could go home and he'd promise he'd never lie to her ever again. If he'd only stayed home with her instead of getting drunk that night. None of this would've happened.

His head like a heavy weight, he moved his head up to look at the panther and weasel. Confusion surrounded him now, masking his fury hat froze him still. He wanted to dart over to that panther...and...and...

"Right, Squirrel..."

A raspy, high voice cut through his hazy state of mind, and he found himself face-to-face with the narrowed eyes and menacing look of the weasel professor. For some reason, Conker wanted to step back a bit. Maybe ten or so steps. The elder mammal's eyes were watching him with a dark tone, his metal claw-paw clutching the side of his chair as if anxious. Conker didn't like looking up at him.

"I think you're coming vit me." The weasel stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Conker couldn't help but ask despite himself,

"What's going on?"

The weasel did not answer him, and only looked over his shoulder with an not-so hidden sneer as the King began to lurch in his chair. Conker wasn't bothered by it at all.

The Lab-coat wearing weasel reached out swiftly and grasped the younger creature's arm, and Conker was momentarily surprised at the legless, mechanical-aided weasel's strength as he dragged him away from the center of the room. Conker was so dumbfounded by what was going on that he didn't fight until a moment later.

He was about to protest loudly, when the King Panther roared in agony. Conker looked away from the frightening weasel to the large cat, watching with eyes as wide as dinner plates as the King went rigid in his throne.

"Ah yes, here it comes." Conker tried squirming out of the weasel's grasp, staring at the one who now stood beside him, metal arm still clamped around his wrist to hold him, yet no longer looking at him. The Professor was staring intently at the King.

The Gangster weasel took ah hike. Conker stood stiff, watching as the King kept up his lurching and rasping. The squirrel grimaced at he noise.

"Ah...Since ze squirrel got rid my tediz...B*stard..." Conker halted his struggling in the vice-like metal grip and looked up at the weasel. Wait, what? This guy did WHAT?

"I think ze latest addition to my plans is about to take place..." The crazy man was talking to himself. Conker shook his head slightly.

The weasel's voice became more excited, like some sick child on Christmas Day. "The incubation period is almost complete! Not a moment too soon!"

Conker stared at him blankly as the weasel leaned forward, eyes locked in total loathing upon the king. "Yes, my liege. Let us kill two birds vit one stone..."

Conker managed to slip his arm out the weasel's grasp at last, and he stepped back away from him with total unease. Then, it happened.

Something tore- actually tore- from the Panther's chest, jumping out into the unsuspecting world. A giant, black, slavering creature with smooth shell skin and an eyeless, long head. Conker shook his head in disbelief and raised his arms.

Then, he covered his eyes and shook his head even more. "Oh no..."

"Oh yesssss..." The raspy, high pitched drawl unnerved Conker even more. More than the creature, more than that vampire guy from before, more than anything.

The alien-like creature growled darkly in the room. Conker shook his head again, before something hard and metal clamped around his neck and jerked him off his feet. Ze Professor jerked the squirrel off the ground, sneering down at him as his organic hand moved over the controls of his chair, moving them both through the air. Conker clutched the metal arm that had seized him, gasping for breath as he tried fruitlessly to struggle. But the grip was unwavering.

Ze Professor moved right beside the creature, and Conker watched with utter disbelief as the insane weasel actually ran his paw petting-like over the smooth head of the monster.

"Such a beautiful animal," The weasel remarked to himself, before looking at Conker with amusement mixed into his disdain, "Even if he is about to destroy you, squirrel. Rip you limb from limb! Like you deserve for destroying my Tediz..."

"You...You did all that?" Conker couched, clutching the iron hand that held his neck, kicking his legs a little. All that bombing and stuff? Making the tediz? He hated these guys...

"Of course, of course...And now you vill die." Conker's eyes narrowed as the grip around his neck steadily grew stronger, venom dripping from the weasel's tone like a snake's.

"You cannot help but admire his beauty. His power...his poise." Conker would've shook his head violently as a response if he could.

"He is not a vonderful creature, is he?" His grammar in the language must have slipped, and Conker choked out a witty remark while he still could.

"Your right 'bout that. He's isn't."

The weasel sneered, and slammed his free hand on a button positioned on his chair. "I'm f*cking sick of living in a place like dis. I have something known as technology squirrel...and iv I am to watch you die with sa-tis-faction..." The weasel took a raspy, long breath, "We vill do it in style."

The whole room began to shake and tremble violently, and Conker continued to struggle as best he could in the neck-lock of the Professor's metallic hand.

"In ze Space, no one can here you weep for ze one you love."

Conker's baby-blue eyes snapped open, and his thoughts snapped with them back to Berri. His vision blurred because of the lack of oxygen, he looked over past the weasel at where she lay.

"Funny, is it not? From what I hearz on ze camera when you worked for that idiot gangster, you did not notice her. You did not, you did not. And now she is gone."

Something pricked at Conker's chest, and he felt no witty remark surface as quick as it usually did. The smirk, though blurred, was evident on the weasel's face. Conker's mind jumped.

Jerk is just trying to make me mad. What a...

"Ah well." The weasel drawled, and the shaking of the metal room began to subside, starry seas in the windows around them, "I vill make sure you join her. Painfully, first."

The weasel spun around and threw Conker with great force towards the monster, and the red squirrel could only gasp as it batted him to the side like some ball of yarn. He rolled along the floor before finally landing on his stomach. He pushed him self onto his elbows and looked over at it with wide eyes.

"Uh, oh." He murmured. It began towards him, the crazed weasel's cackle echoing through the area. Conker reached into his pocket and pulled out his gangster gun- firing quickly only to find the bullets bounced right off. "Aw, no!"

He practically had to throw himself to the side as the creature pounced at him like a cat, and he ran as fast as his legs could carry him the other way. This turned into a violent game of cat and mouse; no matter where he went, it was following him, and the only one getting tired was the squirrel.

Conker was panting by the time he dodged the fifteenth swing, and his legs were heavy. His ears was scratched from a near-death hit, and he had no weapons, no nothing.

He stumbled back away from the creature, slipping onto his backside in exhaustion as it drew close, slowly. The Professor watched.

"So now you vill die. About time, too..."

"I don't wanna die because of some science-fiction reject..." Conker mumbled despite everything. His whole body aching, he wished he could go get a bear. Then go home. With Berri.

Then, as the creature got closer, he noticed one of the windows behind it. A very large one.

A crazy, stupid idea came to mind. Conker's face brightened up.

"Vhat are you happy for?" Came a snide remark from the weasel. Conker grinned happily.

"Oh, nothin'."

He then ran under the creature's legs towards the glass door/window, making sure that it was looking. He stood in front of it and waved his arms eagerly.

"Heeey! You!"

The creature growled murderous, and lunged. Conker wiggled his fingers not unlike a cartoon character and dived out of the way, hurrying over to Berri's still form as the creature slammed into the glass.

Conker, bent beside her body, looked over his shoulder and watched as a large, foreboding crack began spreading over the glass. For a moment, he, the weasel and the monster were still.

CRACK.

The glass shattered, and all hell broke loose with the pieces of glass. The creature latched onto the metal ground as the airlock opened, sucking out the air from the spaceship. The body of the Panther king and his throne spiraled towards it, flopping dejectedly out into the vacuum of space. Conker threw himself over Berri's body and clutched the floor with all his might, screwing his eyes shut.

He could really use some chocolate right now...

"Vhat have you done, VHAT- AAAAAH!"

The high-pitched shriek from the Professor sailed past him, and Conker felt something tight and metal latch around his ankle. He yelped, opening his eyes to see the crazy weasel had caught hold of his foot. The crazed weasel growled as Conker attempted to kick him, missing in the process. His chair had frittered out into space, but that didn't stop him from trying to kill the younger mammal. The creature behind them gave a final, defeated as it was sucked out to space, leaving only them.

Conker shook his head att he crazed scientist as he tried to kick him, "You crazy man!"

"Enough to drag you down to hell vit me, wretched Squirrel!" Ze Professor rasped. The whole place was shaking violently now.

"WARNING! AIR LEVELS LOW. WARNING!"

"Ve vill both die, Squirrel!." Ze Professor growled, "I vill vin at something yet!"

Conker couldn't help but feel this was the end. This was it for him.

"Aw, man...this is it!"

The station gave one last jolt, and for a slipped second the grip on his ankle lessened. Conker's eyes widened at the chance, and he gave one final glare at the crazy scientist.

"You and your stupid Tediz."

Conker's foot jerked out and kicked the scientist square in the face, and the vice-like grip of his ankle was lost. The weasel spiraled towards the airlock, shrieking violently, and as he passed towards the frenzied abyss, everything began to fall. The space station, everything.

Conker screwed his eyes shut as the ship fell, his arms still clutched around Berri's lifeless form as it fell.

Then, everything was black.

The Squirrel found he was back in his blue hoodie, alone in the darkness. It was an awfully familiar experience.

"You little f*cker. Doncha know how hard it is to get to someone who dies in space?"

"Greg?"

Sure enough, a diminutive skeleton was storming up to him, and Conker offered a bright yet disillusioned smile. "How'ya doing, Greg?"

"Shuddup ya little f*ck. You caused me alotta trouble in the past few days!" The Grim Reaper ranted, shaking a bony fist. Conker shrugged.

"So...did I run outa lives? Am I...dead for good?" Conker felt his smile fall when he asked what was on his mind. The skeleton (if it were possible,) raised a brow, a hand on his hip and seemed to be pondering the answer.

"As much as I'd love to see you rot, ya little b*stard, you still got two o' those tokens. Darn it..." Conker's ears perked and he looked up. Two? That could mean...

"Say, um, Greg ole pal," He grinned hopefully, "D'you think I can give one of them dandy extra lives to my girlfriend...we'd much appreciate it."

Hopefullness was raising quickly, only for the small skeleton to answer,

"She's not a squirrel!"

"Yeaaah..." Conker thought quickly, glancing around as he did so, "But their both my extra lives. I'm entitled to, ya know, give on to someone."

Greg looked infuriated at this new found loophole, and Conker tried not to jump in triumph as the skeleton growled.

"Oh, all right. You both get off. But only once, ya here? f*cking loopholes..."

"Nice seein' ya, Greg!" Conker replied, actually meaning it. The horrible weight he's felt earlier upon loosing Berri had faded now, and as everything turned white, he found himself feeling more bright than he'd been in years.

His eyes snapped open to see the sky. He shook his head and frowned at it. "What?"

A soft moan from beside him jerked him into a sitting position. There, not too far away from him, was Berri. Both of them were dressed in their normal clothes, and she was alive. Alive!

"Berri!" He ran towards her and through his smaller arms around her, smiling happily as she hugged him in return, maybe too tight as he found it difficult to breath a moment later.

"Ah-Okay, we betta go home now. King's sorta dead." Conker remarked. Berri shrugged at that. Conker laughed a little at the uncaring gesture she had to that piece of info.

Good ole' Berri.

They both stood, and found they were just outside the castle. Conker looked up at the large stone place (that had a noticeable hole in the ceiling) and shrugged.

"Ah well. Makes it look betta'"

They began trotting away, both of them looking as normal as they did before everything started. As the two wandered cliche-like towards the sunset, Conker found himself wondering what it would've been like if Berri hadn't survived.

It woulda sucked, that's what. Not even that castle behind him, hole in the roof an all, could have made him feel better.

He just wanted to go home, maybe sneak a beer. Knowing Berri would always be there.

Maybe he wouldn't take too many bears these days.

"This doesn't get you off of standing me up ya know."

"I know. I'll buy you some floating chocolate ta make it up ta you, babe. That stuff always makes me feel betta."

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_Spark._

Far away, in a cold, water-filled swamp, the dejected weasel guards gathered cautiously towards a giant, half-submerged metallic wreck that stained the swamp's look even more than the bile and green much did. Around the wreckage, many sparks of lightning emitted eerily in the darkness of the evening, lighting up the wreckage.

The smallest guard weasel drew closer than the rest, lifting his overly large helmet from his head as his young eyes watched the pile of metal. He clutched the large helmet in his hands and stared at it quietly.

Then, like a single crack on a frozen window, a metal arm burst like a geyser from the ruined metal rubble, and it grasped the surface like a cat's claw and drew a long row of scratches along the metal it held. A single red light that served as an eye peeked through the rubble beneath, and the weasel youth drew back in fright, the flickering of electricity the only thing illuminating the menacing metal limb as it clenched tightly in total fury.

"Ze squirril...vill pay."

_Spark._

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_Please review! Hope you liked!_


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